Pinkie Lamb

One a day

2009-12-11T00:14:00.002+08:00

Recently I have been helping Auntie KY at the resource centre. As I was sorting the books, I chanced upon this very interesting book. It was a comics on soccer humor. I browsed thru it and had a good laugh in the very very quiet resource centre! So I specially selected some to scan and share with my PINKIE boy, since he loves soccer.

Today as I was scanning the pages, I told myself that I should send 1 comics at a time. So there will be something that he can anticipate everyday. This will help to keep him away from the negative thoughts and redirect his attention on constructive things. So as I thought of this, I suddenly recalled something, or rather someone ...

Years ago, I have this male colleague which has lots of Forever Friends Bear pictures. Knowing that I'm a BIG fan of FFB, he sent me 1 picture a day and this last for around 1-2 mths. At that time, I didnt particularly like him and neither did he like me. Our relationship was just a little deeper than colleagues but not deep enough to be classify as good friends.

Now that I can still recall this after so many years, I still think it's a very sweet thing that one can offer to do for another person. Anyway, nothing much happen between us. All I can say is that fellow is a 高手 and I'm not stupid either! hahaha ... ! :D

Jokes of the year 2009

2009-12-09T23:47:00.004+08:00

26 Nov was a very important day for all P6s cos it was the day to release PSLE results. While myself, mrs C (form teacher of my class) and mrs L were waiting in the conference room for the Big Shots to return with the results, L asked C & me if anyone in my class will fail Math. C mentioned 2 names, which I got a shock because I didnt anticipate any failures at all. And then C added that she anticipated 4 A* for Math, which I nearly fell from chair cos at most, there should only be 2 A*.

So when the Big Shots were back with the results, there was 1 A* and no failure for Math. It was really hilarious that being a form + Math teacher, her judgement was inaccurate! Anyway the highest was only 233. There were a few who did exceptionally well but overall speaking, it was lower than my expectation. The Foundation stream did very well this year.

So when everyone received their results, there were 3 meltdowns in my class. My dear form teacher wasnt aware of the meltdown. She was so busy going around, getting students to write greeting cards for hamper (another social enterprise proj in my sch)! Until I had to handle 2 boys and when they were calm enough to have lunch, I got to secretly call her to inform her. These 2 boys have history to commit suicide so she as a form teacher got to be aware of it.

So after I told her, she together with another theraptist, talked to the boys. I purposely left the boys with them. In less than 10 mins, they had finished talking. So I joined the boys at their workstation and one of them commented that, "why is C so concern about us today?"

I thought this statement is very classic. Even a child with autism can sense if a person is real or fake! I wouldnt say I'm a good teacher. But the last thing I want is my student to remember me as a fake person!

Recovering from a Broken Heart

2009-12-09T23:30:00.004+08:00

Weeks ago I was praying very hard for my PINKIE boy. I even dreamt about the thing I prayed for. That dream had a positive outcome but reality bited us once again! I was very very dishearted. So dishearted that I didnt want to pray anymore.

I felt even worst when I knew my boy was so so so upset and started to self-hurt. As much as I wanted to help him, I didnt know how to cos I was feeling as upset and I didnt want to pass on those negative effects to him.

But God is good! As I started to stop praying, my boy kept throwing me new prayer requests. And thru out this period, I was closely watched over by my dearest mentor, Auntie KY. She has such POWERFUL eyes that are able to detach my emotional problems, even though I "die die also never spell a single word about it"! Haha ... :D

While I'm trying to cope with the disappointment, my mind is very occupied with the problems I can foresee for 2 of my boys (D & J). Since I can't be with them forever, I have to learn to detach! Although there are more to be done, I have done more than sufficient.

I need to quickly recover from my broken heart. Be recharge and ready for the new challenges ahead of me!

Melt ...

2009-11-24T21:56:00.003+08:00

One of the many things I have learnt after being a teacher is to apologise to my students. And one of the sweetest moment, being a teacher, is to know that my student is not angry with me when he has a valid reason. That's how he melts my heart!

PSLE results will be out in 2 days time. My melting heart is at the same time, pumping very fast. That dream of mine is still clearly reflected in my mind. I don't know if it's from God. I only know that God must help him. I will also help him by praying for him so that God help him!!!

A moment of thanksgiving!

2009-11-20T20:55:00.002+08:00

As I discover a small portion of hidden secret, I thought I have comprehend the entire plan but I was wrong! It's another prayer answer and the answer is STAY! I want to thank God for revealing the answer in such amazing way. Even as I was excited over the little tracks along the way, He know my desire and kept me in track. Indeed, He has solved the problem for me. Walking away isn't the solution. He has amazingly made the problem disappear in the most amazing way!

Today, I discover that it is not yet time to say goodbye. There'll be more good times to come and of course bad times when I will feel weak, ill, sad, disappointed, dishearted, ... etc. I know He is always with me. He has never leave me a single step, a single moment in my life.

I want to dedicate this moment to Him, to thank Him for the many wonderful things He has done in my life thus far!

Thank you Jesus!

Not ready to bid farewell 还不想说再见 ...

2009-11-08T23:24:00.006+08:00

I have been asked by a few students if I will teach them next year but it's particularly sweet & encouraging to hear it from danny boy! It's indeed my pleasure that receive such request cos if they dun like me, they wouldnt raise so queries.

This academic year is ending soon. There are things that I can wait to wave goodbye with yet some that I cant bear to part with! I will miss those kids who God has clearly revealed to me. As much as I want to shadow them, I know there will be a time that we have to part. And I always believe that we will meet again somewhere that God permits!

To my danny boy,

When you asked me if I will teach you next year, my heart was immediately soften cos you had brought up on the little secret in the deepest corner in my heart. Although you're not the first student to ask this question, it's extremely sweet and encouraging to hear it from you!

I know I have yet to reply you on your second question. I'm not trying to act hard-to-get! I just feel that I'm not ready to bid farewell with you. Yet I know we need to part somewhere in our lives. It's a struggle for me which I dun know how to share with you! I guess I can only commit this to the Lord. Only He knows where we will be heading next year.

No matter what, we need to part somewhere. Dun be sad! Remember our everlasting promise? We will meet again and continue our soccer session! Remember to put on your outfit and get ready to play soccer with me in heaven!

Dun doubt! You're a WONDERFUL boy cos God has made you so! Meanwhile, I will continue to pray for you till the day PSLE results is out.

Faith Love Hope

2009-10-28T20:55:00.006+08:00

I still was joking with Fatty Bomb a while ago that I havent been writting not becos I havent been thinking. In fact, I have been thinking a lot recently ... a lot more than I had a year ago! But writting down these thoughts need a lot of time, effort and also inspiration!

I was chatting and sharing with my insurance agent in the afternoon about my work and my kids, in general. I always like to talk to him cos he will listen attentively with no expectation and link back the topic to God! As I was sharing that the demand for special need children is increasing and the trend will change in the near future, he asked for my opinion why God allow such mistake in man?

Frankly, I was caught off guard with this question. I felt a bit shaken! I have been thinking about this topic, esp when I see those kids whom I love soooo much are in deep pain! Tears will just roll down from my eyes when I don't get an answer. No matter how much tears I shed, the God I know is still the same God yesterday, today and forever. My kids will still have to struggle with autism till the day the leave this world. I don't have an answer.

Mayb cos I don't have to know or I already have the answer. Between these, I choose the second one --- The answer is already given! God is Love and for those who honour Him, walk close with Him, will receive be blessed! With Him, we can!

So I choose to believe that the answer is very simple, which is Faith, Love & Hop!

I want to cry!

2009-10-05T15:56:00.003+08:00

The flight is confirmed. I'll be departing on 16 oct at 8.40 am and back to homeland on 20 oct 10.15 pm. Frankly I don't quite look forward to the trip. Don't feel like talking about it. Just pray for me that I will stay positive thru out the trip and everything will turn out well!

My Children's Day Message

2009-10-01T03:05:00.003+08:00

it's children's day again and i cant help it to feel a bit sad today cos this will be the last children's day my kids going to celebrate. after this yr, there will only be youth day. no more children's day for them, which means there will be 2 more days of school for them in the future yrs! this's definitely not a nice thing to think about on this day so the only explanation (& comfort) i can offer is tell them that this's part of growing up. this shld make them feel better, since it's a class of 11 boys. if there's girl in the class, i would probably have to use diff tactics. haha ...

as expected, i believe most of them will 'forget' me next yr. so i decided to write them a personalised children's day message for each of them to encourage, motivate or inspire them. i'll be happy if they can understand 50% of the message cos i can be quite philosophical which can be too much for the kids to handle. haha ...

i thought it will be nice to pen down the messages here so that one day when my memory fails me, i can still reminisce.

I'm so happy that you've made some REAL good friends and I hope these friendships florish and last a lifetime. Cherish your friends and be a happy boy!

Thank you for being such a loveable boy. My life will be REAL bored without you cos you're always so entertaining! Remember what I've told you --- Believe in yourself. You can do it!

I really enjoy those short moments that we chat in the hall. I appreciate your sincere and honest reply. It's my pleasure to be your teacher and I'll always remember you as a good-nature & adorable boy. If you need someone to share your problems, dont be shy to approach me, ok!

I always believe that you're a teachable boy. You have to reflect and remember the teachings so that you can be a better person. I hope you can improve on your social skill & make more friends.

You're a boy of multiple talents. I hope your talents will make you famous one day and I'll be very proud of you!

P/S: No more "homework" please!

I've witnessed the improvement in you. Thank you for being such a diligent & hardworking boy. I like your military Eeyore drawing and I hope you can expand your interest area.

Strive hard and work smart towards your goals!

Thank you for being such a "almost"* perfect boy. I hope you can use your talents to help the less fortunate and make a difference in their lives. Be happy and stay positive!

* almost cos no one is perfect in this world

Noah

You're a smart & god boy cos God has made you so. May God grant you the wisdom to excel in every area and the favour to expand your circle of friends.

Now that you have memorised the Fruit of the Spirit. Do you know the meaning? I always believe that you're a very capable boy. You'll definitely gain these fruits in you & be a better person. Remember --- The cool & safe always win!

I hope you'll have the spirit of Kung Fu Panda -- Despite own's difficulties, one still works hard to achieve his goals. May you cherish what you already have and use your talents to touch lives.

Danny boy

You're a wonderful boy & I really mean it. Thank you for the trust. I'm always available if you need someone to talk to. Also our promise --- we'll meet in heaven and continue our soccer session there!

Have faith in yourself. You're here for a beautiful reason!

there'r 7 more weeks before this academic yr ends. counting the quality time spent with some of the boys and the work i have secretly planted in their lives, i know it's still not enough. but for whatever i've done, i hope these will last beyond a lifetime!

just like what i've wrote in the little book that i gave to danny boy, the same apply to the 11 messages above --- a little note, with a simple message, that lasts for eternity!

Ready -> Action -> Go

2009-09-23T21:56:00.003+08:00

i have noticed the changes ever since the new sch is in operations. one of the more apparant one is frequent pop-in of visitors during my lesson. probably due to the investment of the equipments, those labs are hotspots for exhibitions. not to mention my kids, being the high-functioning ones, are more suitable to be showcase.

during my last 2 periods of the day, as usual, my "dear friend" was doing marking and this time, english paper. the management has already spelled out clearly that support friend is not allow to mark paper during lesson time. so when the door suddenly opened, she got a shock. there's a super big group of visitors, accompanied by the big shots and big big shots. the most hilarious part was one of the visitor actually know my "dear friend". i still remember seeing her pat her chest after the visitors left.

didn't i share with you that ppl will just pop-in without notice. so better be in "Ready -> Action -> Go" mode lor! dun say i never warn you huh ... hahaha ;P

Danny Boy

2009-09-22T22:36:00.002+08:00

you may have realise that i'm in such a pinkie mode recently. so pinkie that you will see the word "pinkie" whenever i leave my footprint! if you're wondering why and frankly, i dun know why either! haha ...

another thing which i do not have a particular reason is my liking for danny boy! i dun have a particular reason for liking him and i also dun know when did i start to like him. he has his strengths and weaknesseses, just like the other 10 boys in my based class, and there's this very special thing about him that caught my attention. i always tell him that he is a wonderful boy and i really mean it cos i think God has made him so!

thru him, i've learnt and discover a lot. it's so interesting to experience how a life can touch another life. indeed, our path don't cross for no reason. within this strictly-constrained environment, so many wonderful things have happened. becos of this, i have given him my everlasting promise ... we will meet again in heaven and he will cont to teach me soccer. i think this's the most beautiful way to maintain our very special relationship, that is safeguard in God's hand!

before we meet again in heaven, i will remember that you have said that i'm an awesome teacher. this alone is sufficient for me to go a million miles!

by the way "danny boy" is not his actual name

Which C do you want?

2009-09-14T22:29:00.004+08:00

i was nearly shocked to death when my forever-good boy said he was almost caned and forced to eat chilli padi for taking cab to sch. one of the teacher, which he didnt disclose, mentioned about taking a cab to sch becos sch bus service is unavailable on the day for PSLE oral. so he, being such a literal boy, obeyed that instruction and spent nearly $20 on cab that morning.

his father doesnt believe that his teacher gave such instructions so to close the case in the most convenient way, he said he lied! Haiz ... what a tragic!!!

Quality time with mama

2009-06-03T21:20:00.002+08:00

ever since my dad had passed away, i have learnt to spend quality time with my mama. this includes having dinner with her every nite, accompany her to somewhere she wants to go, do with her something she likes to do, ... etc. i think this is a way to show love to my mum and she understands it.

today we dine out. she is curious abt the circle line so we plan to have dinner at Thomson Rd. As the MRT was heading Marymount station, the annoucement was made, "next station Marymount". my mum looked at me and said "没礼貌" ... haha. she was making fun of the name!

One more chance ...

2009-06-03T20:57:00.002+08:00

as part of my daily routine, i read the news at yahoo.com.sg and saw the news about a very popular Chinese singer who is ready for the next mission --- to share music in africa. this reminds me of the YEP trip. it was his special project which he set off to Shangarila to explore music of the minorities.

thru those stories he shared, i had unknowingly desire to visit this piece of land. during my most available period of my life, an opportunity dropped from heaven and there i went ... and so many things happen ever since then ... ...

i dun believe in coincidence. everything happen for a reason. although we are so tiny to comprehend everything in our life, we cannot deny the purpose of its existence. coincidence is a man-made word and brings no justice to God, who is the creator of this universe!

while i'm reading this news article, i knew deep in my heart that it is not just another news ... it means a lot more than what it is ... i really sense of need for me to pick up the bits and pieces of myself which can be found along the pathway that leads to the point of origin ... i can sense that it's prompting me, telling me that this is my 1 more chance to reach a new height!

In deep thoughts

2009-05-14T22:30:00.003+08:00

i'm so flooded with my flow of thoughts. it's not unusual that i will space-out during free time. but these days, my thought is unusually stirring. it seems like nothing much has happened yet thru reflection of my routine work life, i felt a sense of discomfort. shouldn't i rejoice over it?!?!

reflecting my recent chat with jack, i once again thought of that moment which both of us trembled in awe! i want to tear in joy ... that's 1 thing i want to boost about the amazing handprint mr J has stamped in our hearts. truely, coincidence is a man-defined term cos everything is created for a reason!

despite the discomfort i'm experiencing, i know that time is not right yet! i know i have to hang on ... i have to learnt to cope a life of being surrounded by weird people ... i'm in the process of growing, running the race that lead me to completeness ...

Love is simple

2009-05-10T16:28:00.004+08:00

I like today's speaker. although this's the 1st time i hear her live, i like her as much as her husband. they're indeed a very blessed couple. even looking at their shadows, i can see God's handprint! and those who can hear them preach were even more blessed!!!

it touches me the most when he choosed to sit at a corner of the last row while she preached. he sliently supported his wife of 42 yrs at that cold corner. despite the cooling weather due to sudden downpour this morning, every heart in the auditorium was warmed!

everytime pastor marion mentioned her husband, i will turn to look at him. although he didnt have any outburnt of laughter, i can see that 嘴角的幸福 and this is love.

In anticipation ...

2009-05-08T17:20:00.003+08:00

have been in deep thoughts recently on many issues. thinking about work, about AWARE, about a dear sister, about colleagues, about God and about ppl around me ...

in the last conversation with my dear sister jack, i was so motivated to know that she has picked up the bible n read 1 chapter a day. she specifically highlighted John 14:1-4 to me. God has made our hearts so closely bond that we understand what these verse means to us without much explanation!

n then last nite, out of desperation, i was trying to air my chest to a little girl i met at msn. she was doing proj discussion in her quarter-opened eyes. i was telling her that my profession requires ones to self-reflect & self-motivate. i'm starting to feel emotionally-drained. PUSH! --- remedy by the little girl.

nowadays i will visit facebook quite frequently n whenever i see friends upload photos taken from overseas trip, i felt very deprivated! as much as i want to remove those "victim" thoughts, i cant deny my emotions on certain things. n even so, i guess i can only look forward and move on and PUSH hard that the next stage of my life will quickly arrive ...

2009-04-26T22:28:00.004+08:00

i like today's sermon --- restoring the stolen properities! i was so touched with this simple message and so grateful to have mr Jim at bethel today. my mind was in deep thought thru out the sermon, my heart was aching towards the end of the sermon and my eyes were wet when he explained why he preach the message today.

it takes a lot to make a proclaimation! uphold Godly value is a MUST and it requires so much wisdom to seek a way out of the earthly standards. The beauty of being a teacher is to pray for my kids. Recently, i discovered ways to help my kids to redirect to God. The next challenge is to go a step further ... this would require me going against rules set. Have to pray for wisdom n favor!

despite the weather, the attendance was excellent! the auditorium was filled entirely. those who came in big groups were asked to take circle seats. everyone is fanning. Obviously there's something wrong will the aircon. Pastor Chng has jokingly said, "it must be the fire of the Holy Spirit" ... haha

Super Week!

2009-04-25T16:34:00.005+08:00

i had a SUPER week 5 ... it kicked off with a rush rush Mon and ended with a rush rush Fri! brought kids to RJC for doodle sessions on both days n followed by meeting with outing comm. on top of this, 2 teachers i supported were on 2 days MC so i have to take over their teaching role ... recently i have been very used to take over a particular class and it's really very comforting when i heard 1 of the boy comment that he prefers me over the other teacher. hehe ...

yesterday ... aka SUPER Fri cos attend the Prayer Conference at Tampines in the evening. was still contemplating whether to attend or not but in the end decided to go. this's partially due to a comment my mum made ...

the journey was surprisingly smooth n was in time for praise & worship. i like the lead singer. pretty n has good vocal! i like mr Jim's sense of humor although i dun think he is exceptionally impressive! anyway i will see him again tml n also anticipate a lot of ppl to crowd to Aljunied tml morning!

just receive notice that someone going on 2 days mc next week n thus, i got to take over her teaching role ... i somehow sense that i will become a subject teacher very soon! Praise the LORD!!! haha

The unsettled mind

2009-04-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

i finally has acknowledged my unsettled mind. this's after so many mths of denial, pretence & ignorance that i finally have to come face-to-face with it. what makes this more complicated is our differences and my lack of courage to seek the answer. what if it's a No? haiz ...

toying with my thoughts in wilderness doesnt seems wise ... yet, i dun dare to challenge my faith. and now that i'm writing this entry, i'm entertaining my unsettled mind again. haiz ... "our spirit is high but our flesh is weak" ... now i understand what this means!

think i need to return to similar condition as dec 08 where my mind is so focused on 1 objective and no room for choice. this's perhaps is the only thing i can celebrate in the midst of so many hair-pulling events. this's how i was blessed. my God has a good sense of humor!

3 letters

2009-04-13T23:35:00.007+08:00

here're 3 letters i have longed wanted to write. if not becos of my last round of 1200 race, i wouldnt have drag this long. anyway i decided to write n mail these letters out immediately after i submit my assignment.

Letter to Mr J

~~~~~~~~~~

thank you for the wisdom. without it, i wouldnt know how much i need you. it seems like the mystery is starting to surface. i hope this's not my imagination. as i'm in this process of preparation, may you cont to empower, enlighten and enrich me as well as the people around me.

Letter to hao xin ren

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thank you for those nite trips. if i got a chance to meet your dad, i will thank him wholeheartedly for his ever-fulfilling fatherly love cos with this, we wouldnt have so much fun. heehee ...

it's indeed not a easy to be hao xin ren n as the saying goes "好心有好报", you'll b greatly blessed. for example, found the thing which u urgently needed at the most unexpected moment. haha ... so dun be dishearted and cont to be hao xin ren even though long-lost friends will just POP out from nowhere.

Letter to Mr XYZ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

despite all my efforts to try to trace you, i still have no clue who u r. perhaps your hammering skill is so good that it outwit my strong analytical thinking and logical reasoning skill! although i dun know who u r, i can conclude that u're a very daring person cos not many people dare to challenge my dearest spanny's barking at wee hours. even so, i do not at all look up to you.

anyway i strongly advise u to go get a clock n the next time u want to hammer, pls check the time. if a clock doesnt help, i advise u to go get a phone n the next time u want to hammer but dun know how to read time, u can call the police for advise. if u dun find the above helpful, i also dun know what else i can help you ... or mayb u shld just bury your hammer somewhere so that if i manage to find u, i wouldnt use it to hammer u!

Showing Love thru Action

2009-04-10T21:37:00.007+08:00

1 of the many reasons i enjoy reading newsletter from World Vision is to receive devotion from various WV staff. in the latest entry, the writer end his entry with James 2:18 - But someone will say," You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I show you my faith by what I do. (http://www.worldvision.org.sg/st_devotion.php#start)

today, someone threw me a question, "shouldnt it be compulsary that all Christians must be in church on good Fri?" ... it is more than a routine that Christians attend church service. this's not the only thing that differential a Christian from others. In fact, there are many non-Christians who visit church as well.

growing in Christ requires walking closely with God. i've know this for a long long while ... recently, i've learnt the importance to express love thru action. therefore, i went tomb cleaning with my family n help in all ways i can n not compromise the don'ts of Christians. as well as this good fri holiday, i choose to go away with colleagues.

i'm grateful for those precious moments that i can spend quality time with my love ones. in the process of showing love thru action, sacrifice is inevitable n i entrust these onto the Lord, who will usually provide a way out for me.

A hug wins a million words

2009-03-29T21:15:00.003+08:00

someone give me a hug at the time that i'm most unprepared. i was very touched and grateful that our path ever cross. my day is brighten up and i felt energized!

i was chatting and sharing with an senior person this morning. though the session was short, it was good. somehow i felt assured about my future direction.

My heart is aching ...

2009-03-28T00:16:00.002+08:00

as i'm thinking about you, missing those happy moments & silly we shared last yr, i realise that i need to find time to chat with you ... and as i have such thoughts, by chance, you came close. but as you come close, you got into trouble again ... how can i help you? where are you?

at wee hours ...

2009-03-23T03:05:00.007+08:00

strange strange strange ... i'm still awake at this hour. will i be able to survive the day, knowing that it will b a long day.

strange strange strange ... unexpectedly, i wrote 700 words over 1 nite for my assignment which will due at 2359 on 23 Mar 09. either this topic is easy for me or i'm writing rubbish ... hahaha

oh yah ... i have a few new discoveries today ...

1) i found a new speaking software ... next time can make it talk to me when i'm bored!

2) i realise eyesight may not neccessary get worse as a person age

3) i realise that my cell leader is actually a very good biblical teacher

4) it's time to change the outlook of this blog

5) spanny seems to be allegy to the new dog food

6) how lovely my YEP-mates are even though the trip has long ended

7) i miss the hugs n jokes we shared during the yep trip

8) i still thinking of re-visiting UK

9) i'm able to do finance without errors at wee hours

10) i have so many new discoveries within a day, remember and able to list all of them n i'm still wide awake

hmmm ... what shld i do now?

wash clothes? iron clothes? vacuum floor? mop floor? clean window? count stars? count lamb? count how many words r there in the book of Genesis? of cos i'm silly-talking lah ... cant be so brainless lor!!!

I'm loving it ... 我就喜欢

2009-03-18T21:33:00.004+08:00

i'm loving my short 1-week holiday. despite having with sore throat, i still go buffet lunch with mama n auntie n had lots of delicious food. talking abt lunch, i had lunch with someone at centrepoint, had lunch with mama & auntie at hyatt hotel and tml lunch will be with somebody at heeren ... see i have lunch 3 days in a row at orchard leh!!! how can i not like holiday as it's the best time to catch up with ppl who u seldom see or always see but no time to chat.

apart from catching up over lunch, another thing to mention is the wonderful time spend with spanny. now that my mama is working, spanny is rather bored at home cos i'm not her main companion at home. since last week, things has change slightly. my bro has been dropping his helper at my place. her presence keeps spanny from boredom cos she will accommodate all requests by naughty spanny!

dogs are really no good in hiding their emotions ... it's shown all over spanny's face, eyes, tail, paws, ... all parts of her body that she's happy ... hahaha ... n this's the time that she's the most adorable. well, i mean she is adorable everytime but in those moments, she is just too lovable that i can help but to squeeze her in my arms. heehee ...

in so many years of living life with spanny, i have learnt a lot from her. sometimes i really envy her for being able to express her love n joy with not suppression ... shouldnt love n joy be shared? why do humans like to hide these positive feelings? prehaps, sometimes we should strip off those expectations that we have put on others n put down our pride.

these are very simple solutions for life's most difficult problem. yet, life's simplest lesson takes a lifetime to master. from tues lunch, i realise i've discover something (positive). I've learnt something which has never ever cross my mind n i'm still learning ... ...

The Source

2009-03-15T00:48:00.004+08:00

I lift up my eyes to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

recently i'm quite chained up with thoughts in my mind n choose to isolate from the crowd. i know this's no good. therefore, i create "opportunities" for myself to standing in the crowd but i know deep in my heart, i'm not enjoying those mandatory assignments.

i think i have yet to come to term with the inner self and even after sharing with the very few people, who i feel comfortable sharing, i still cannot comprehend a lot of things. i know i have yet to find the solution cos my heart can never trick to my mind. in the midst of all these, i'm truely thankful to the few good soul who i can share with.

i start to see some light when somebody sms me Psalm 121:1-2. this reminds me of the source that always provide and never run dry. the source that provides unconditionally, without fail. the source which re-align my heart and mind. sometimes in life, what we need is just a statement of encouragement. the rest is redundant!

Beautiful Mind 2

2009-03-07T00:31:00.002+08:00

it always set me thinking when something serious happened to my kid. on tues, i was chatting with my sweetie-pie team members in the hall. suddenly my bubby teacher came to tell me something abt a boy yet before she can finish, a few ppl just crowd near us.

i look ard n saw my chubby adorable boy eyes' teary red. a mal teacher pat his shoulder n asked if he is ok. only then then i realise he was bullied ... this's how slow i am!!! i'm quite in talking term with this boy n i asked him if he wanted to talk n then pull him to a corner. it took him a while to start talking ... i felt so sad when i heard his story.

usually children from mainsteam sch r either badly bullied or big bullies. but in most case, had very bad experience of being bullied so a new sch is like a ray of hope to them. but then it's also not easy for the rest of the class to accept new students. he happen to b 1 who the class do not like n thus not many ppl like to talk to him. so i always make an effort to talk to him.

something kids just want u to hear them out ... this doesnt need a penny but a big heart. from my experience with children, once u give them the respect n listen to them, the bonding is very different! i make an effort to chat the chubby-adorable boy n he got so comfortable that he called me "mum" by accident. haha ... this's so funny!

Cloning

2009-03-07T00:08:00.004+08:00

weeks back, i was still quite bothered over a colleague who would be away for around 2 weeks. i need to admit that my focus is more on taking over her teaching role rather than understanding why she needs to go on MC.

not that i'm doubtful of my ability. just dun like things to be passed over to me at such a improper manner. also, knowing this colleague, it wouldnt be an enjoyable experience to take over her role. true enough, the 1st thing she picked on me is on PP1 marking.

she commented that i was too lenient n in front of the kids, she said she want to minus marks for no number statement, no this n no that ... i'm not a MOE-trained teacher n sorry to say that she's neither 1. based on my 1 yr experience, i learnt that a marker should, thru the students' answer, understand the child's flow of thoughts when he/she is attemping the question.

i dun see any reason why i shouldnt reward a child with full marks when he/she has already spell out his understanding? luckily there's a very experience MOE-trained teacher in our midst to consult. anyway i still let her bring back the papers to review.

back to taking over her class ... i was only notified via email merely 1 week in advance about she going on 2 weeks MC. in the end, the doctor gave only 1 week MC. even so, i still cont to teach until yesterday, she started her 1st lesson with newly adapted style, which set me thinking ...

she's using more tools & aids to make her lesson more interesting which i think it's good n i find her new style quite familar ... cos i'm was using it earlier! mayb she think this's more engaging. haha ... anyway this's a new discovery which i can gossip abt here ...

Beautiful Mind

2009-03-01T17:14:00.002+08:00

While i was chating with the girls yesterday over our over-run tuition session, they commented that the new girl has 小姐脾气. apparantly this's not a norm amongst the girls there but then i was thinking ... what is norm?

norm being defined by practises and behaviour of the majority. so i suppose most girls is able to control their emotion better than the new girl. but isnt this too demanding for a girl, as young as 10 yrs old? i frankly dun think i'm able to do so, probably also cos i'm ASD.

talking abt ASD and i'm playing with my thoughts on this topic with the definition of norm ... what if one day, majority of our society is made up of people with Autism, will the behavioural issues result from Autism become a norm? How will this world be like if this day ever come? Will i be jobless by then?

Another Beautiful One

2009-02-24T00:17:00.003+08:00

i'm very close to spanny recently ... or rather, it's she who keep bugging at me for food. maybe cos she finally understand that she will either be scolded or irritated if she's going to wake my mum up every morning. so she turn her focus at me ...

so on weekend mornings, if will went into my room, pretend to be good & give me that innocent face but her 'fox tail' is very quickly reveal when she stretch forward her small, yet powerful paw to scratch my arm. sometime i will give in, but sometimes i will just chase her out of my bed n close the door before she can sneak in again! hehehe ...

recently my mum has some weird plans, which i disapprove, n thank to spanny for making these plans unsuccessful!!! hahaha ... ** evil grin ** ... i start to love spanny more n more ... n now that my mum start to work, there will b more time between spanny n I ... which means there will b more chances for her to scratch me with her small, yet powerful paws. Oh Noooooooooo .... !!!

even so, i still love her as much as she loves me ... hahaha

Beautiful Ones

2009-02-22T22:21:00.005+08:00

last week was a tiring week for me as i felt being put on a yoyo. my emotion was up n down n up n down. as much as i refrain from showing the slightest trace of this, i was grateful that 1 thing remain unchanged ... the same yesterday, today and forever! i was once again being reminded of the beautiful One n the beautiful ones around me ...

last yr i ever mentioned this boy who's quite close to me last yr. though this yr he didnt sit with me as frequent as last yr, we still enjoy those short moments of chatting ... one day, last week, he came n sat opp me during recee. we chat n chat n then somehow i mention his form teacher n his eyes turn dull, which made me worry.

so i asked him who does he prefer, ms W or ms Lau? he said ms Lau. then i asked how abt ms Lau n ms Lam? he said ms Lam ... hehehe

i told ms Lau this n mayb cos he wanted to please me so ms Lau asked him the following day n confirm that it's ME!!! WooHoo!!! hahahahahahahaha ...

pls let me cry

2009-02-19T21:32:00.003+08:00

my heart is aching and my body is flooding ... i feel like crying yet not a single tear roll down from my eyes ... even though crying cant solve the problems, i still want to cry ... to cry out all those that r gripping my hearts ...

this's a super yucky feeling ... i really hate it!

Self-talking ...

2009-02-17T18:38:00.002+08:00

my energy is running low. even drawing out from some responsibilities didnt help much. guess this's a consequence for achieving 1 of my resolution for this year. yet there're still tonnes of work to be done.

1 of a teacher i support will b on MC from this Fri to week 9 n i'm told (via a very inproper manner) that i got to cover her for Maths. i still have not digest this in a positive manner but i guess i will try my best.

my study isnt any better. another assignment due 24 feb, which is next tues, and i have not even start thinking what to write. have already missed 1 lesson, left early for 1 lesson and will miss today lesson. this's how wonderful my attendance is!!!

i long for a good rest n then time to pack my room n in the midst of these, i have time to read + draw + sew + sleep ... these just bring back memories of my bumming days. but too free is no good either!

now, i just wish i can wake up on time n b punctual for work every morning. cut down on cab taking ... n attempt to socialise rather than finding excuses n hide away from the crowd. for the least, i think i shld at least b more friendly to 1 of the teacher i support in PL. he is actually a very nice person ... i feel like a shit whenever i thought of this!!!

Do it Right before it's too late

2009-02-13T23:25:00.002+08:00

i'm glad to hold on this morning ... holding on to the pain even though i cant stand straight! i'm glad i've survived week 6!!! even as i was complating n hesitating n questioning y did i agree to attend the KidsRead training, i attended.

the trainer is very experience and expressive. i like her. think i'm starting to like reading n quite determine to make time for this.

out of the many advantages for reading, 1 of it is to teach children abt sad and difficult times, such as death. this's something everyone of us has to go thru ... the trainer mentioned that even a person had passed away, the person will always be remembered by others. at this stage, it's the memory that matters!

this set me thinking ... thinking abt my dad n i cant agree more. i've lose count how many times i've tear after his cremation, yet i didnt shed a drop of tear during his cremation. i guess it's the memory that touch my heart.

i know some ppl like to address their parents as "uncle" or "auntie". this may sound very cool but i find it very disrespectful. we can have many uncles n aunties in our life but everyone has only 1 father and 1 mother. most imptly, "daddy" and "mummy" are 2 words that one will never have any chance to use again once the person has passed away.

i dun blame those who dun understand or think deep enough cos some of these are learnt thru experience and some of these experience is very painful.

count your blessings!

Solution reveal during dream time

2009-02-08T18:31:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a long day for me. Despite the long to-do list, each item due today else long overdued, i still met a colleague for lunch. i think we both need a well-deserved meal! in the end the lunch didnt turn out to be fantastic but the company is excellent!

back to my long to-do list ... i'm rather strucked with IT lesson plan and project assessment. When i was still in bed this morning, in a half-dream-half-awake state, i thought of how to do. hahaha ... it's so unusual to find the solution during dream time! i never know i can multi-task in this manner lor. Hahaha ...

recently, i felt rather HIGH abt my work ... guess this's a bonus amidst the increasing work load.

It's Jokes time!

2009-02-06T18:08:00.003+08:00

earlier i shared abt jokes between me n my mum n now i want to include jokes either by me or my kids at my workplace.

socks or shorts?

setting: gymnastic lesson, where kids have to remove shoes and socks prior the lesson

one of the boy was still wearing socks while the whole class is waiting for him. so i say, "xxx, remove your shorts!" but he didnt response. so i repeated 2 more times n he still standing at a corner, showing me a face without expression. then i realise i had said "shorts" n not "socks".

thank God he never start stripping lor else i will get into deep shit!!!

Bus No 7

setting: silent reading in Hall

the moment i step into the hall, 1 kid told he left his fav bag, which has fav dino book, in bus No 7. he asked me how to take back the book? so i reply very seriously & sincerely by suggesting him to write to SMRT after school. n then he quickly said, "No. it's not! it's school bus no 7!".

the above r just 2 jokes i can think of at this moment ... feel like napping leh but got cell later ... how? how?? how???

i'm now feeling like a little bird cos my shoudlers r very light now ... so happy i have submitted TMA01 last nite. although i didnt write close to 1200, i still submit. haha

Facebook

2009-01-31T22:23:00.002+08:00

recently i've been quite active in facebook. i like to look at those people whom are filtered by the facebook networking system. these ppl r usually also in my friend's facebook. n thru this, i like to view who r the mutal friends. it's very interesting to see mutual friends from more than 1 interest group, such as workplace & church or previous workplace & church. and sometimes as i play with this feature in facebook, i will click at the wrong button n added someone whom i dun intend to add in facebook. guess this explain y my friend list in FB is growing ... hahaha

Pressing on for a GREATER mission!

2009-01-30T16:07:00.004+08:00

Revised IT Lesson Plan - Overdue

Maths Lesson Plan - By 1 Feb

Maths teaching materials - By 1 Feb

UniSIM TMA 1 - By 3 Feb

IT teaching material - By 3 Feb

IT comm updates - By 6 Feb

UniSIM TMA2 - By 24 Feb

Finalised Proclaim files - By 28 Feb

The above are just some deadlines that I can name off hand n there shld b more. with P6 Supp classes starting next week, my workload will get heavier! this yr, i have to cover another class for Maths Supp class cos the Maths teacher is a contract staff n she knock off at 1pm. frankly, i dun feel positive abt this though i dun have a choice. guess this's something i can manage ... just focus on the interest of the kids!

as week 4 comes to an end, i'm starting to feel tired (physically) already. was coughing n sneezing yesterday after my well-deserved nap n even popping 2 panadol didnt seen helpful. i thought i wouldnt b able to make it today. Thank God, i was prefectly ok this morning!

as i was leaning against the wall at the back of the class in the last period, 1 of the student was very sweet. he asked if i'm sleepy (he actually mean tired). of cos i deny lah. heehee ... but i guess if he can observe it, it shld b quite obvious!

i know this race wouldnt be easy but i'm very determine to put priority on work this year for a greater mission.

Thankful

2009-01-24T00:22:00.002+08:00

i like my new cell group! enjoy the short moments of worship & sharing time. witnessing the beauty of humility n experiencing the presence of mr J.

a few r bothering me for a few days n even as i'm thinking, reflecting n wrestling, these things r somehow being taken care of. i cant help but to acknowledge that it MUST be God!!!

was alone in conference room on thurs afternoon, waiting for someone for a 1-to-1 meeting which i never expect. being kept in suspense isnt a fun experience n worse is being alone in a conference that can hold up to 20 ppl. i cant help but walking around to make myself busy, while entertaining silly thoughts. haha .... this of cos end with a good outcome!

so fast it's going to be CNY ... guess it will b a good time of resting n clearing of sch work. i have assignment due soon ... it's time to jia you again!!! haha

Thankful

2009-01-17T20:09:00.006+08:00

i felt that i had just taken a roller coster ride at work yesterday. Ch U crew arrived early morning for the filming. my class was selected for the filming but i was asked to take over another person's class while she's in my class teaching science. the class i was suppose to go had a boy who wasnt very stable recently n will do something really unusual ... something which will fighten all female teachers.

prior entering the class, i was prepared, told & advised by various ppl until i was so tensed!!! after the familar teacher had intro me n explained the changes, i began the lesson. while i was writing the schedule, he came from behide. i got a SHOCK!!! n quickly execute the consequence system set for him. Thank God, it works!!!

thru out the 1 hr lesson, i can see that he tried to control himself despite the few attempts he done to his caretaker. n then it's recess time. i had a rush rush recess break n then made to go into a lower pri class which i'm not familar for leisure skills lesson.

although it's leisure skills lesson, it wasnt a leisure time for me!!! cos there's a runner in this class. i saw his teachers running after him for a few times this week! after 1 hr of LS, i finally can go back to my timetable n 1 hr of 1-to-1 teaching will give me some time to catch some breathe & tune back!

the last 2 periods is in a P6 class which i'm least familar with. the class is very high the moment i step in n start talking silly things n getting a bit out of the way. so have to execute consequence system again which trigger 1 of the boy. he refused to pack up for dismissal. i know he want to start his drama again!!! have heard too much abt him last yr.

the boy still refused to pack up n start hiding behide the smart board. i was very naughty lah ... left him in the class with the teacher n assume that he will have his ways to make the boy to pack up n go to hall ... so i made the class to Q up n move them down to the hall.

in the end the boy came down n then start a mini drama in the hall ... this's how i end my week 2 n even now i can still feel the tension in me. it's really not easy to enter 4 classes of totally diff profile within a day.

in the midst of all these, i'm thankful for those moments of assurance & security. i dun know if this's from God ... but i promise to remove whatever that's not of Him or not from Him. Help me, my Lord!!!

HC10

2009-01-11T21:09:00.002+08:00

HC10 is my new cell code. cool huh !!! we kick off 2009 with the 1st cell last fri. while i was contemplating whether to go or to skip, i finally reach the extreme end of HG n so glad that i attend.

i quite like my new cell cos it has a well-mix of ppl from diff walk of life n the interesting part is each has certain degree of involvement in children work. it's a good start esp after hearing everyone's expectation of the cell for this yr. i believe there will be progress n excitement.

something has been bugging me since the last week of dec08. this's also in view of resolution for 2009. actually this's not a new issue ... just that i didnt think deep enough abt it. now it's seriously bothering me n i FINALLY make up my mind. i guess some ppl will be shock ... ... ...

even as i refrain from using these words (cos the last time someone say it to me, it affected me badly that my heart still hurt now), i cant think of alternatives ... there's a season for everything. when the season is over, everything will eventually have to end.

讚美生命 Let's Celebrate Life

2009-01-03T14:58:00.008+08:00

"Lucky didnt make a fuss about anything and just quietly sat on his pillow often staring into space. We didnt know if Lucky was in pain but we knew he wasnt happy."

Abstract from http:/www.davidtao.com/diary/diary_list.php 1 dec 2008 entry

my tears rolled from both eyes unknowingly after reading this line. i love spanny but i dun think i can ever grant her as much dignity as this man gave to his dog, Lucky. he wrote a long entry at his site n i abstracted a portion of it ... not cos the above is the best. instead i want you to read the original entry at his site.

i want to thank God for this man! though he is incomparable to You, i still want to thank You for creating him and giving him those talents to touch my life, as well as many others out there. what a way to start yr 2009 ... n even as i'm less active to follow-up with his updates since jul 07, he never fail to touch & inspire me thru the small little things he does or say. tell me how to not love this man who is so real n serious???

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-01T20:41:00.004+08:00

last nite service was quite enjoyable ... very diff from last yr. good to see that ppl in church r putting in effort, despite the comments. n i tell u hor ... no matter what u do or how well u've done, there will always be comments. sometimes i think ... y dun these ppl stand out n volunteer themselves, rather than hiding at a corner n whispering softly ... like a mouse lor!!!

Oh well ... dun mean to start the yr by scolding ppl. moreover, i dun think i'm scolding lor ... there's no need for me to scold ppl at my blog cos these ppl will not read my blog 1 lah ... hohoho ...

back to last nite service ... some of the performance were rather entertaining. in the midst of enjoying myself, i got refirmation of a potiential YEP leader who i've eye on since i offer to volunteer. guess this person will add value to the team n future YEP projects.

n 1 thing i want to thank God is His enlightenment for 2009 resolution ... there're 3.

oh oh oh oh ... i did something malu ... was too excited throwing the balloons backward n hit a uncle's spec n he's not any ordinary uncle ... so funny lor!!! hahaha

Counting down ...

2008-12-31T20:26:00.005+08:00

FINALLY ... Finally ... finally ... the mural painting has come to an end. it's too dark now to take photos. will post photos some other days ... n i'm now at childcare centre waiting for my mural-painting-partner to shower n then have dinner n then attend the crossing over service at 9.30. we thought we can finish earlier n have a good rest before the service. i even brought puer to enjoy. hehehe ...

in the end, we had dinner n puer in a rush rush mode ... i was nearly out of breathe cos it was so so rush ... hahaha ... n of cos, being with such a lame person, we had some lame, as well as serious talk in between.

i've been thinking of my resolutions set on the last day of 2007 ... it's a long list n i'm glad i have accomplished some. as for those which i didnt, i've long forgotten what they are ... hahaha

and as i'm thinking of next yr resolutions, i feel very blank! it's unusually blank!!! i dun know y ... have been very very blank recently. mayb cos i'm tired ... physically, mentally & emotionally! still a few more hrs before 2008 end ... counting down ... ... ... ...

Merry Xmas

2008-12-25T10:45:00.004+08:00

today is 25th dec but i dun know y i dun have the xmas mood & feel ... is it becos i just return from china? or could it be due to my rush rush schedule since i return? or is it cos i have to start work before 25th? i dun know ... just feel very tired n want to isolate myself ...

perhaps only eason chan's "merry xmas" can explain how i currently feel ...

Home

2008-12-19T17:36:00.012+08:00

i'm home ... finally n i'm so glad that i'm still in 1 piece ... hahaha, just a joke i crack with wailing

but not long after i land, i learnt abt something which make me quite dishearted ... it set me thinking if it's just me or what ... if it's time to step back or out ...

well well ... below r some nice photos taken ...

this's pighead! put this photo here not cos she's nice ... Ooops ... of cos she's not ugly either ... i mean it's nice of her to send us off so early in the morning :p

steamboat dinner --- 1st nite in XG

had this at Sweet Tooth ... chocolate biscuit with Mint cream

hmmm ... this photo is a bit abstract. this's a music video n can u guess where is this tv install? heehee ... it's install in every cubicle of the 50-cent toliet at Dali Gu Cheng. wee-wee also got MTV to watch ... very shiok huh ... heehee

taken at san zhong ... big field n blue sky ... how i hope i can fly ... WooHoo!!!

this's my fav pix. taken outside san zhong ... looks like banyan tree resort huh

the feast that principal lee had throw for us ... apparantly he had to go KM so he got the teachers to host us

realise there're more dog lovers, expensive breed n found a few 'spanny' look alike minus spanny's barking minus spanny's jumping minus spanny's greedy-pig face

this's the tv we got for our friend. 1 of the many thing which i feel proud of doing in this trip. her place is so bare. of so many items that we can get, i think tv n radio r very essential items cos urgent news n info r transmitted via these channels. this's so impt for someone who is alone in a foreign land. she choose the model herself n it fit perfectly in the living room.

Muar Trip (4 - 6 Dec)

2008-12-08T16:20:00.007+08:00

i'm starting to see the beauty of cutting short my china trip. 1 of it is the last min muar trip with cell members and mama. it's a very relax n enjoyable trip. a good time for fellowship and for my mama to mix around cell members. so happy that she has agreed to attend the forecoming thankgiving party on 26 Dec.

we played a guessing game n the loser has to drink ... apparantly everyone got their chance to drink n of cos there're a particular few who drink more than others ...

Blessed

2008-12-04T00:13:00.003+08:00

even though i'm experiencing evil force;
even though i got to listen to things i dun want to hear;
even though i've to meet ppl who i dun want to see;
even though i've to make changes to my life to suit others;
even though there's so much more things loaded upon my shoulders;
and even though of all the above, i still feel blessed becos i know He is with me!

In excitment ...

2008-12-02T18:08:00.002+08:00

looking forward to my trip for various reasons ... have managed to convince myself to focus on objectives rather than human ... n what adds on to my excitement is the call i receive from my cell leader just now ...

there will b major change to the cell group next yr n there's a new plan ahead for me ... i'm so so so excited ...

Patience under test

2008-11-29T09:08:00.004+08:00

had a good dinner with jack. i always enjoy having dinner with her and looking forward to the short moment of sharing which is hidden in the most secure corner of our heart. as usual, she asked me a difficult question which only God has the answer but i asked with little difficulty cos i was enlighten by some wise ppl much earlier. n thru this Q&A session, then i realise the wisdom that has God enlighten me as well as the talent that He has empower me. i love that instance feeling of thanksgiving and the desire to draw closer to Him. n i think He appreciate it.

as i have shared with jack, we only see a part of God's work and it's Him who decide how much He want to reveal. n most of the time we will only see it at the end of it. n then we will start to thank Him. sometimes we r gain victory while sometimes, we're made to sacrifice for a good reason. no matter which role we play, we will not b put in a situation that we cant bear. all these require faith!

although we changed our venue, our usual routine remained --- which is dinner followed by ice cream. and last nite i got a free treat of ben & jerry. heehee ... i wanted to treat her donut but she turn me down. haha

oh btw i didnt something quite silly last nite ... haiz ... now that i think of it again, i still feel so so so silly abt it ... haiz ... so silly that my hair want to drop lor .... arghhhhh!!!

Dear God

2008-11-23T22:55:00.001+08:00

剛剛看完六點半的新聞那悲劇又重演
有個媽媽拿著兒子的相片期盼他會出現
看不下那畫面我轉過頭卻開始流淚
是懲罰是考驗還要有多少的心碎
愛愛在這個世界上愛已被忘記誰都不相信誰都不相信相信愛
哎哎真理和公平都變成了笑話我不願住在這樣的城市裡
話題都圍繞在腥色暴力有八卦沒想法
計算逃避人人都在玩遊戲沒有錢沒人理你
我心裡很憤怒只能冷酷讓自己麻木
拿生命做賭注這些瘋狂還要多久
愛愛在這個世界上有沒有意義
沒有人在乎沒有人在乎沒有愛
哎哎我真的很想要開口罵髒話
不是我的錯不是我的錯別怪我
Dear God 為什麼你閉上眼不想想辦法
裝做看不見裝做看不見告訴我
哎哎告訴我把愛找回來的方法
因為我無法離開這個鬼地方(我沒有辦法離開 no no)
這個鬼地方它還是我的家
剛剛看完遠方傳來的消息像惡夢在繼續
給點力量讓自己能活下去 Dear God 你在哪裡

Dear God, where are You?

Prayer answered

2008-11-19T14:21:00.000+08:00

nothing can make me happier than prayers being answered ... WooHoo

i can fly for the next 3 yrs ... WooHoo!!!

Puppy can express love better than man!

2008-11-01T22:19:00.003+08:00

thanks to shuling for the photo ... i love this photo at the 1st sight. sweet!

when is the last time u see such a loving scene? i guess they r siblings and it's so sweet to see 2 puppy showing love n affection in such simple manner. man is the worst creation in showing love, despite the ability to talk and think, the need n desire for love, numerous teaching in school, an almighty God, we need that constant reminder to show love. what a failure! haiz ...

Faith-llionaire

2008-10-29T23:24:00.005+08:00

got this from my friend's msn ... "I have nothing but FAITH. loads of them" ... it's so warmheartening to hear this ... jia you, girl!

My name is Siti

2008-10-10T23:47:00.002+08:00

this term i'm involve in contact time aka assembly in mainstream sch n i'm working internet safety. last week theme was on recycling n we did a skit. my role was a student counsellor, siti, n there were 2 other students. apparantly the kids love the skit n some teachers give very postive feedback. so next week, the 3 characters will cont another skit on internet safety.

me now busy preparing the materials while the other teacher to write the script. all these has to b ready by tues n then rehearsal on tues n wed. the actual performance will b on thurs. hope the kids enjoy it ... actually it's quite fun to act on stage ... heehee

苹果苹果我想大口大口的咬你!!!

Love never cease

2008-10-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

have attended a very good session organised by world vision last sat. there's so much need everywhere, yet the workers r so few. thank God for good organisations, such as world vision, to honour God n support small-scale, God-guided-vision organisations. $450K over the next 3 yrs is not a small commitment. i dun have so much to offer but i have a blog here n can offer some space to publicise for these organisations, be it big or small.

what's the value of a self? i also dun know ... i only know that everytime i want to hide, i will surely b found. everytime i attempt to act, i will b filled with more regrets. everytime i want to quit, i feel God's aching due to my disobedience.

so y hide, act or quit when God is leading our lives? what's in your mind? what r u afraid of? isnt God's command simple n clear enough? even if He decide that this season of love is over, i will start another season of love. even though i've yet get over the past season, i will seek a new one in pain n looking forward for the joy n peace. cos to love is His command n love never cease in His kingdom.

Half day in JB

2008-09-28T17:57:00.009+08:00

yesterday fish n me secretly "bubbled" to JB. of cos we went thru the proper channel as in have our passport checked and stamped at both custom. we set off early cos we intend to come back early.

the coming back is very smooth but we took a while to reach city square due to long waiting time for the bus at sg custom n at the msia custom. almost 1 hr wasted ... haiz!!! we waited for around 30 min at sg custom for the red bus n in the end, decided to walk to msia custom. haha ... i havent try this for yrs. luckily the weather was good so we had quite an enjoyable walk, despite the loud "poop poop poop" from the trucks

fish was totally amazed when we stepped into city square cos it's so sg. even the new carefour building which the cab driver recommend looks so sg ... like shopping in orchard but spending in msia currency

we had an extremely sumptuous lunch at a nicely decorated, good ambience jap restuarant. actually i thought of eating jap food but scare fish dun like. when we both see the jap restuarant, fish was so excited n i'm totally relieved lor ... n while she's still checking the menu outside the restuarant, i already ask for the table ... heehee

if u think i'm the greedy jap-food pig, u r wrong!!! i have evidence. see photos below ...

fish ordered 2 charamushi, 1 bento n psycho me to order 1 mini sushi. i thought i'm the crazy 1 but was defeated by her. was so shock she order so much. this's the 1st time i see her eat so much lor ... haha. anyway both of us had a great munching time. now i know what tactic to use if i want to bribe her. heehee!

Dreams do come true

2008-09-20T12:54:00.002+08:00

Dreams do come true (http://www.pathlight.org.sg/aboutus/schoolsong_lyrics.php#contents) is the sch song. the 1st time i heard the kids sang this song, i was so so so touched cos they sang with so much pride.

last nite while discussing with iris on the upcoming yep, we side-track n chat abt my kids. i share with her a few kids and the things they do r really adorable.

as i'm only teaching p6 and occassionally support other levels. even though i step into their class once, these kids will still remember me n greet me whenever they see me. sometimes i dun even remember which class they're from (voice of a gulity teacher) ... heehee ...

yesterday dismissal, i was at the cafe to assist 1 of my kid to get lunch. a p5 boy saw me. he walk towards me and stand very straight and start to use his hand to compare our height. his height is around my forehead. a caretaker saw n quickly run away cos she's only ard 1.5+m ... heehee

Dreams

2008-09-11T23:42:00.004+08:00

i'm someone who dream a lot and remember most of them when i woke up. sometimes it can be so bad that i cant distinguish if it's reality or dream. as a result, i have many funny stories which is quite embarassing to share here ... heehee

sometimes i dreamt of people who i havent meet for years.
in extreme scenarios, i will either playing with people i dislike or quarreling with my closest friends
sometimes i dreamt of things that will soon happen
sometimes my dreams run continously over a few nites, like some tv serials

recently i dreamt of myself doing something which has been in my mind for a while. when i woke up, i again wonder if it's a dream or reality. then i ask myself if this dream will be like some others, which become reality.

i dun know the answer but i'm sure it will b reveal at the best time.

when is the best time? i dun know but i'm sure the best time is near ... :-)

Do you understand?

2008-09-06T00:49:00.003+08:00

there's something i've learned after these while of teaching n interacting with kids ... actually nowadays kids think alot and they can be easily affected by people and things around happening them.

yesterday i was tutioning at the home. the girl looks quite tired so i suggested a break and had a chat with her at the dinning area. she told me that she wants to quit school cos she doesnt see the purpose of studying. after more clarifications, i then understand why she make such comments.

actually this girl is very hardworking. her mum recognise this too n frequently pressure her to strive for better results but i feel that this's not helpful at all. in fact she will blank out during exam and thus, her results is always a borderline case.

due to the movement and high turnover of teachers, there are many new teachers who come n go. everytime a new teacher comes, the students have to adapt to that teacher's teaching style and foster the relationship. once this circle of trust is built and the students start to like the teacher, the teacher will leave ... as a result, she felt tired of repeating this cycle over and over again ...

it's really interesting to understand, from the child's perspective, their expectations of themselves and the teacher. who say they dun understand? they do understand ... in fact it's we, the adults, who either dun or refuse to understand!

as a teacher, sometimes i feel that spending time to talk to a children and understand their thoughts is more important than to teach, teach n teach ... once we listen to them, they will begin to hear us talk ...

Last Fri Date with mr J

2008-09-01T23:32:00.009+08:00

'my date with mr J' which i kept mentioning earlier refers to the arrangement of my water baptism. it's done by pastor Alan, cos he's in-charge of my region, at a condo in hougang.
see the photos below ...

pastor Alan in swimming trunk ... heehee

most of my cell members was there and also jack and fay ... that boy is Amos. my cell member's son.

u can see that my mentor like him very much ... finding all possible chances to carry and squeeze him in her long tan arms. she ask him if she can kiss his cheeks but he turn his head away ... smart boy! hahaha!!!

the above is not all ... at around 10.10pm, 3 familar faces visited my hse ... see if you can spot them ... heehee

the gals bought me a cake and present and card. really thank them for the effort and heart to give me a surprise visit. my hse is not easy to locate huh so it's a test of memory lor and the part where my mum responsed and played along was so funny ...

guess who's the most angry and happiest in this event? see below ...

it's spanny ... she's angry cos was being leash up despite she's 1 of the resident in this household. since she's so angry n barked so loudly, my mum had to stay in the bedroom with spanny.

and why is spanny the happiest? cos she likes the choco cake ... heehee

and know why that expression on my face ... ?!?!?! ... cos i was trying very hard to understand why they buy me a Doreamon Chocolate cake ... hahaha

Oh btw 1 more little joke abt my water baptism. the name of the condo, where i did my water baptism, is called florida. when i invite Jack, she demand for the address otherwise she will really book an air ticket to florida ... hahaha ... funny girl!

A joke

2008-08-30T23:26:00.005+08:00

as mentioned in previous post abt celebrating teachers' day and birthday, i received a stalk of rose and a bouquet of carnation from 2 students and the other stalk of rose from Amos. he gave this to me last nite. i ask him why he gives me flower cos it could b for my birthday or teachers' day but it was neither nor as it's to celebrate for my water baptism.

i have a joke regarding my water baptism to share ... actually last nite is PL d&d. i told my asst principal that i cant attend due to water baptism. she admits that this's more impt that d&d n then she ask me where is it, when is it and which church i'm from. i guess she must have find it weird that water baptism on a fri evening or even think that i'm from some cult group ... hahaha

last nite i got a sweet surprise from my dear friends. they came to surprise me with cake, present and card. spanny welcome them in her very special way n think spanny surprise them more than they surprise me ... hahaha

anyway i really want to thank the girls for the effort n glad that u found your way ... heehee ... the cake is very nice. my mum likes it. my bro's maid likes it. spanny likes it too ... heehee

Celebrations!!!

2008-08-29T23:31:00.003+08:00

this morning i experienced a short moment of frame when i step out of the office ... cards, gifts and flowers are presented to me ... i suddenly feel that i'm some superstars ... hahaha

some kids are really cute and shy when they give their present. i have a boy who baked choco chips cookies for the teachers and packed it nicely in boxes and flowers for each female teacher. another boy prepared a lot of presents for every teachers, including his mum who hold quite high rank in school ... hahaha

i only manage to bring the flowers n cookies home and there'r still 3 bags of present on my table. i seriously need to go in early on next tues to take photo and if possible open some presents so that i can thank the kids personally.

n what make today so special is of cos me celebrating Teachers' Day cum birthday lor ... hahaha ... i was joking with my friends that i've never experienced so much fun for previous birthdays and i cannot deny that my 'kidnap list' is getting longer n longer ... heehee

deeper in love

2008-08-29T22:57:00.003+08:00

There is a longing only You can fill
A raging tempest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord to know You as I'm known
Drink from the river that flows before Your throne

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

everytime i sang this song during cell, i will feel like tearing cos i can hear God's calling ... calling me to come closer to Him n then i will reflect ... how can i love the Lord more and more ... and the answer is obvious. i'm glad that i have finally accomplished His calling. the experience is very special n unique, which words cant describe, but i know it's from Him.

it's a very small and cozy gathering n i want to thank my cell members, jack n fay for attending. i want to thank God for another miracle revealed thru this event. it's truely amazing how He make peoples' lives crossed.

5 more days to meeting mr J

2008-08-24T22:15:00.003+08:00

5 more days ... thanks Jasmin for the reminder ... heehee

i had a good chat with 1 of the pastor yesterday n he gave me a long list of things to reflect upon ... actually i wasnt quite comfortable talking to him and thank God that everything turn out to be good.

yesterday was a wonderful day ... pris n i went recee for T biz and had a few new discoveries and also had a good short chat abt our expectations on the team and things we do. this's the 1st time we're so close. as i recalled, i always know pris n see her singing on stage but hardly talk to her. even when we were in C last yr, where we're so physically-close, we didnt talk much.

thru these little projects, i hope we can 'iron sharpen iron', to be stretched beyond what we have for mr J.

2008-08-22T12:40:00.003+08:00

i have mentioned abt my students in a couple of my previous entries and i really want to thank God for nice, adorable students whom i always encounter. most of these students arent even taught by me, yet a relationship can be foster over a short 30 min recess break or such.

there are 2 P5 students (1 girl, 1 boy) who will stick to me during recess time. whenever they reach the canteen, they will look me n sit either beside or opp me. if there's anyone already sitting near me, they will find their way to squeeze thru ...

whenever the girl is sitting beside me, she will somehow have 'headache' and then her head will start to fall towards the direction of my shoulder ... and whenever i return to sch from MC, she will tell me she will die if she dun see me for a day ... but i was also told by my buddy teacher that she does this to all teachers who respond to her ... hahaha

as for the boy, he was transfer to the sch ard 2 mths ago. i still remember that when he 1st came, he was very quiet ... always eat quietly during recess but actually he is a very chatty n active boy ... btw his IQ is 130 and an average person is ard 100 so he is a very smart boy ... too smart to be in a foundation class.

i really see favor for this boy ... i cant explain why i like him n also dun know since when we get so close ... thru a casual conversation during recess, i found out that he's attending a church which doesnt have a good reputation n i felt disturbed abt it ...

i feel prompted to do something but i dun know how ... guess i have to call mr J for help already ...

Counting down ...

2008-08-19T00:28:00.002+08:00

hey Mr J, it's 19 aug. i hope You didnt forget our date? arent u excited? i dun care whether You're excited or not, i just want to tell You, i'm very very excited and awesomely-filled with thrill, joy and peace!!! Grant me LOVE, please ... i want to be filled with that overflowing love that's of You and from You so that i can shower all those whose cross my path.

counting down patiently ... 10 more days

Dialogue with Mama

2008-08-17T21:10:00.004+08:00

Dialogue 1 (Over dinner)

Me: Mum, you know what ... the Royal Thai Princess visited my school last week.
Mum: Oh ... his father is who?
Me: Aiyo ... of cos the king lah ... u will see his photo everywhere u go in BBK. They visited us cos they intend to open an autism sch in Thailand.
Mum: Oh ... Thailand also have autism children huh ...
Me: Of cos!!!!!!!

Dialogue 2 (Watching 7pm News)

Me: Wow ... President Nathan is in China leh. I saw him shaking the hands of the table tennis players
Mum: Oh ... why does he has to go China? Isnt the match held in S'pore?
Me: ... ... ...

Dialogue 3 (just before the game starts)

Me: The game is starting soon ... who do u think will win?
Mum: I dun know
Me: I think it's China lah ... they're world champion mah
Mum: Oh ... then why do they still want to compete?
Me: Speechless ... ... ... and nearly faint!!!

2008-08-16T09:08:00.003+08:00

so happy that i finally have a chance to dine with my mum. it's a busy week and in fact busy weeks for the past xxx weeks and i either eat out or have rush rush dinner at home. as a result, there isnt much opportunity to have quality time chatting with my mum.

if u have seen my mum, u may find her very cute and i want to assure you that she's cute ... hahaha

last nite i told her abt my kids. they have completed psle oral and more is coming soon. the students and parents r feeling very anxious but the teachers r feeling even more pressured because some parents used the wrong tactic and the kids turn out to b worse. so teachers have to undo the wrong things the kids suffer at home + handling those unrealistic requests and expectations from parents.

it's really not easy which also explain y very few ppl in sch wants to take p6 class ... i told my mum, if given a choice to choose which class to teach next yr, i will still take p6 class ... n she immediately ask me if i will get more pay raise for taking p6 class which i dun see the link ... hahaha

anyway i enjoy teaching p6 cos i like the process of teaching them those concepts that they didnt pick up in p4/p5 and seeing them from dun know to know, it's a very satisfying process ... the other reason is becos at p6, they have build their awareness to a certain level so it's easier to talk sense to them, yet sometimes they will pretend that they dun know so i will also pretend n play along with them ... it's so fun to talk and play with them as if we're friends n not the student-teacher relationship. i can see that they enjoy it too ...

even at p6, they're still very cute and tell u a secret ... ... ... i actually have a 'kidnap' list which contains all the cute cute students that i want to bring home and my list is ALWAYS getting longer n longer ... hahaha ... it's a common joke i crack with my PL colleagues ... i must have gotten cute-ness from my mum ... hahaha

Martha-ing

2008-08-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

days ago, i mentioned to a group of friends that i see myself like 'martha'. since then, i have been very puzzled how this word pop-up in my mind under such situations but i believe there's a reason ...

this afternoon, i receive a phone call reprimanding me abt those things i shldnt have done. i was extremely discouraged after that. frankly, it's actually not my responsibility to be even involve but out of goodwill, i helped n ended up with such ... i could have pretend or act blur but i didnt n why couldnt ppl think or see the effort n kindness i have extended?

this's not the 1st n only incident. in fact, there were a few recently n once i was so affected that i want to miss service ... i've tried many methods to regulate and modulate within myself so that i dun hurt others n harm myself and it's not easy! today while i'm walking from the home to bus stop, i recalled abt my role i've mentioned days ago --- martha, and was immediately comforted when realised the similarities we have ... i guess the solution of my struggles is in bible n NOT human methods

Save me or him?

2008-08-12T00:26:00.002+08:00

i do not want to deny that heart-gripping experience and i have to cast it away. i have to keep my eyes on Him n see this as a process of preparation ... have faith n be patience ... in the midst of this, i'm glad that i told her that little secret to our friendship before she set off on sun morning ... God's angels encamping around you, my dear friend.

watched Batman just now with fang, mp n shuling. i find the movie okok only ... nearly 2.5 hour and some parts of the movie can be tighten ... although it didnt make me fall asleep, my mind was disengaged into tml work.

while we are debating whether to save rachel or dent, i just feel that this is a show abt human heart n mind, which can b easily directed by a devil's voice or controlled within a righteous man ...

life is full of dillemas and struggles ... if i'm batman, i will save dent too cos this life can save even more lives while the consequence of saving rachel is 2 broken hearts ... n i'm glad that so many ppl will choose to save me instead ... hahaha

n then i seriously think there's no need to spend so much time n effort to debate about every role, move n decision in the movie cos it's afterall just a movie :-)

I will Run to You

2008-08-10T17:38:00.003+08:00

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand it comforts me
From the ends of the earth
To the depths of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demands

And I will run to You, to Your words of Truth
Not by might not by power
But by the Spirit of God
Yes I will run the race, till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

The voice from above

2008-08-04T22:39:00.003+08:00

something is gripping my heart very tightly since last nite ... actually i already felt a slight grip on sat nite but was too tired at that moment. i urgently need to hear that voice from the above. Oh Lord, please grant me the wisdom.

i have finally completed my work report for CIA and really thanks fay for helping out on the video editing else i dun think i can have a good nite rest tonite cos my colleagues are still struggling with their video editing. so happy that it's all done n over though it's only the pre report. men, i owe you 1!

after completing this, i will have to divert my attention to other stuff ... dun know why there's always not enough time n my room is in a total mess. by the grace of God, jialing didnt faint when she was here yesterday to study for her forthcoming test. she finally met spanny n had a good time with spanny ... or shld it be the other way round??? heehee

good to see jialing again as it has been a while since we were so close ...

Loren Cunningham

2008-08-03T20:01:00.002+08:00

ever since i cant attend his thurs nite rally weeks ago, i felt very very very sad and till now, whenever i see or hear his name, i still have that urge of banging my head against the wall ... i dun know when then i will get over it ...

yesterday i receive a book from 'someone'. the author is no other except Loren Cunningham. oh NOOOOOO!!! of cos i didnt bang my head cos i dun want to be sued by management of vivo city lor. the person who pass me the book told me her expectation n deep in my heart, i told myself, "where got time?!?!?!" ... hahaha

but hor ... i tell u a secret hor ... ... ... last nite before i slept, i read a few pages and and and and and ... i totally hooked, which made me more more more disappointed that i missed his rally!!! but then i realised that i no longer have the thought of banging my head leh ... heehee

anyway the title of the book is "Daring to live on the Edge. The adventure of Faith and Finances" ... 1 of the reasons i'm hooked to this book cos it provides the answer to a struggle that i'm going thru since mths ago.

i will share my learnings from this book in our regular meetings ... although this's one of the expectations stated, i will still do so even if i'm not told

Amazed and Amused

2008-08-02T01:19:00.004+08:00

a lost lamb who received the wisdom to reach its destination
a surprise which was described as scary,
a visit that turned out to be a consultation session,
a pressing question with an extraordinary conclusion,
an intend of love that lead to an offer of love --- video editing.

everything just fit nicely together to form a beautiful picture.

Amazing. this's truely amazing! For those with prefect 6/6 eyesight cant envisage such wonders.
Amusing. this's truely amusing! For those who score 180+ for the IQ test cant explain such wonders.

if u want to be amazed and amused, do below:
1) put on the yellow & black outfit + your nerdy black-frame specs
2) let down your shoulder-length hair
3) count from 1 to 10 000 in the shortest possible way
4) extend your long arms for hugging
5) siblings with 'good' photography skill

all the 5 conditions above must be fulfilled otherwise do below ...

love God for God is love!

P.V.A.

2008-07-28T21:07:00.004+08:00

i dun want to deny those things that are gripping me and i cast all these out with the power from the Almighty!!! it's really not easy so i keep reminding myself that i'm in the midst of the preparation process. if i cant even overcome such small things now, how can i be entrust with more responsibilities in the near future?

ever since last sat event, all doubt is clear. i nod my head to the offer, which i refused to response to few mths back. i'm filled with excitement since then and experienced another peak of thrill last nite ... God is good! it may just be an exclaimation with 3 simple words, these 3 words just sum it all!

in the past, i used to believe in passion. recently i discovered the importance of vision. now i learn the essence of action cos without it, passion & vision is just nothing ...

Passion + Vision + Action =====> _ _ _

1st Summer LEGers Gathering

2008-07-21T23:33:00.003+08:00

as jay n laolao are back, we had our cosy n fun gathering this evening ... had dinner at a rest in bugis that serve YN food and went TCC/CCT/TTC/CTC for a drink ... we chat n had so much fun that unconscienciously turn the place into a mad hse n the staff there had to remind us to lower down our vol ... heehee

it's so nice to see everyone after so many mths n it's my pleasure to answer all questions related to my job too ... there're far too many nice nice things abt this team of ppl ... God is really good ...

mr J, You hold the key to my heart ...

...

2008-07-19T23:15:00.003+08:00

while i was recovering from yesterday event, i had another one today ... it definitely wasnt a good feeling esp experiencing 2 in a row ... how can i find comfort, truth and righteousness?

if this is part of my preparation process, then i guess i have to learn to swallow it n i believe mr J will help me ...

A moment of doubt, a ray of light

2008-07-14T02:29:00.002+08:00

becos i'm rushing to complete the changes for the 1st prelim paper, that's why i'm still up but i'm really really very tired yet there's something i want to pen down here ... actually can wait till tml but after realising my dear men has added an entry in her blog despite her tiredness, i decide to challenge myself in a similar aspect but pardon me of any grammer or spelling errors made cos my eyes are getting smaller like garfield ...

just 2 hrs ago, i was sharing with my colleague via msn and i once again felt God's speaking to me ... last week i start to have the negative feelings abt my job and doubting my purpose in PL. although seeing the kids sort of bring comfort to me, it is a temp effect only. as my heart is consumed by darkness, i met a surprise person at SCEM and thru a casual conversation, he found out my occupation and told me abt the need to setup a support group in church for parents with autism kids ... i was totally speechless at the every moment, esp i heard him saying that in the past, there were parents who left bethel cos we dun offer such support group ...

many thoughts arise and i really want to thank God for all those Christian parents who honour God for that they receive gifts from heaven --- all children are gifts from heaven --- a statement made by my sch supervisor ...

there are so many ppl suffering out there ... if i leave PL, i will cont to be me and they be them and we're strangers ... but if i stay in PL, i can acquire the skill and knowledge to impact the lives of the ppl in need ... isnt this obvious??? why am i so blind ... ???

and coincidentially, my dear colleague also shared of the same sentiment ... and the best part is, we both recognise the possibility of long term overseas community work in the future ... and the best part is, we're both doing as much as we can for our parents now ...

i seriously think that this series of events is not coincident and to have a colleague sharing the sentiment, passion and mission is definitely a privilege and as i count my blessings, God also reminded me that this person has yet to be a child of God ... ok fine, i got your message. that's y i attend Fish4men, isnt it?

Oh my 天!

2008-07-11T21:45:00.002+08:00

As I once again slowly walking towards the gate of darkness, God grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me so hard that I finally woke up. I rubbed my eyes and saw that ray of light shinning ahead of me ... then I realised that this is the path that leads to Him.

It's another revival from the Almighty. I have never understood how big an impact my current occupation can have till today. How silly I am to keep thinking abt the least important ...

Oh btw today during recess, a P5 girl saw me from a far and ran towards me and wanted to hug me. It may sound a bit 夸张 cos I'm only on mc for 1 day ... actually autism kids like physical touch and appreciate relationships like you and me but 1 common misconception ppl have abt autism is aloof. Aloof is just 1 of the many profile of autism. I have come across many others who enjoy talking ... of cos for those who like physical touch, they wouldnt go around touching people, or rather, they touch you cos they like you (^ - ^)

There's also a boy who always call me 'auntie Lam' ... in fact he will call his female teacher as 'auntie'. After numerous attempt of correcting him, i give up and ask his asst form teacher. Her reasoning is he only address female teachers, whom he likes, as auntie ... These kids are really lovely. Each and every one of them are precious creations from heaven!!!

3rd in 13 months

2008-07-07T14:43:00.002+08:00

the funeral i attend yesterday was the 3rd one in my dad's family within 13 months ... i cannot comprehend what does these numbers signify but i know something is going on within my family ... i have a lot of mix feelings esp from the response of the others ... shld i be happy? shld i be sad? or perhaps, i shldnt even react!

the past is already over and the unfulfilled events will remain unfulfilled and the regrets will forever reside in man's heart ...

Beautiful Saviour

2008-07-03T19:52:00.008+08:00

It was quite a while since my last entry ... not that I have nothing to update. Instead, life is busy especially this week and I slept merely 5 hours everyday ... plus the new time table, my responsibility has increased.

Yesterday was a hectic day. I have to teach from 8am to 1pm with only 30 mins recess break in-between but surprisingly, I work till 6pm and attend cell at 8pm ... God is good. I can feel His power in me ... that mighty power that I have never ever experience in my life. I also want to thank God for my WONDERFUL cell members.

Oh well ... i still have a lot a lot to say but no time lah ... tml is my deadline for submission of 2 prelim papers ...

Taken with Pastor Joyce and my sexy mentor (look at her waistline)

Pastor Peter Lui with the 4 legendary beauties.

Ahem ... ahem ... heehee : p

What happen?

2008-06-22T21:03:00.002+08:00

Auntie called me yesterday afternoon and when i learnt that she actually came to church to look for me on last sun, i felt extremely guilty ... i have always wanted to contact her but dun know what's wrong with me. i just didnt take any action even after being prompted my cell members ...

i'm so glad to meet auntie & uncle this morning at the foyer. the very short conversation we had is very good and i like it the most when they acknowledge me as their daughter. she told me jokingly that when she couldnt find me last sunday, she told uncle that "my daughter is missing". hahaha ... they're really sweet ... n even after i reminded n re-reminded her not to buy things for me, she still bought me simple breakfast. this's how i start my day ...

i was feeling a bit disappointed over something just now ... dun know why i have such feelings ... shouldnt me be able to overcome such things with the POWER received during church camp??? i need to self-reflect ... ... ...

Treasure found - Part 2

2008-06-20T23:49:00.005+08:00

We visited Good Samaritan Home at Klang (http://www.clix.to/gsh). I see God's miracles in this home as they are truly well-blessed. There're around 30 children there, ranging from 3 mths old to 18 yrs old. Everyone of them comes from different background.

Amongst the few whom i interact with, Rachel Ng set a very deep impression in me. Her background touches my heart and thru a very special occasion, we exchanged some deep talks ... i just feel that it's God who create that opportunity for us to know each other better.

When she told me that her mum and i have similarity in our features, i was speechless yet i can feel something in my heart. This set me re-thinking abt my purpose of visiting this orphanage ...

She's so adorable, pretty and smart. I pray that she will grow up to be a good role model in GSH. Do not know when will i return to GSH again but i hope that she still remember me the next time we meet.

Treasures found - Part 1

2008-06-16T22:51:00.003+08:00

Hope I didnt mislead anyone with the word 'treasure'. If you think I have found gold or silver, you're wrong ... hahaha ... but what I've found is more precious that gold or silver ... heehee

On the 2nd half of my trip, I exchanged sms with a very close galfriend. Both of us felt quite negative over different things and were sharing & encouraging one another. Knowing that each sms sent from msia wouldnt be cheap, I still insist to reply each message cos I believe friendship cannot be measured by money. Thru those days of sharing and encouraging, I really want to thank God for this friendship which both of us can walk together, esp during difficult times, and physical distance is of non-existent.

Dear Jack, too many things happen in our lives, which will bring injustice to God if we simply concluded it with the word 'coincidence'. Nothing in this world is coincidence. Our paths crossed for a good, else greater reason. Let's uphold the Creater's plan for us to the fullest and walk the journey together and forever cos I dun want to go heaven without you.

Money cant buy friendship. Pride cant preserve love.

Home ... FINALLY

2008-06-16T02:06:00.002+08:00

I'm finally home after being away for 8 days in msia. 8 days isnt long since i have been on longer trips before but this trip is extremely loooong. I experienced many many things thru out this trip and my emotions is yo-yo-ing thru out this trip ...

just reach home at arond 12:30am and cant stop myself from logging on to internet to check emails and chk other sites ...

too tired now so i will post my encounter with God in future entries ... just want to mention how FUN it was to surprise 2 person at 1 time and the real excitment is both the "target" only knows abt 1 part of the surprise plan ... and the nite before, Huifang nearly spot the card when she scream out my name at the lift lobby and rush into my room while yinghui is writing the card ... everyone in the room got a SHOCK ... heng we're fast enough to hide the card under the blanket, sit on top of the blanket and keep denying abt it ... hahaha!!!

and when we sing birthday song for wailing, she still blur blur and sing along, not knowing it's for her ... and before we finish singing the song, the candles has already went off ... Annie, who is holding the cake, must be feeling very happy and excited and use too much strength when she sing the song lor ... hahaha!!!

Well well ... this's just 1 of the highlights of the church camp ...

Impressed

2008-06-06T00:24:00.002+08:00

The card is finally done! I'm really impressed with myself cos this's the 1st time I tried such design and successfully completed within such short timeframe ... considering myself for havent been making cards for the last 6 mths, such results is impressive ...

Really like the card colour combi ... feel like keeping it for myself ... heehee

Pursuing a purpose-driven life

2008-06-03T11:18:00.009+08:00

It's so amazing how a casual converstation leads me to more opportunities of works that I'm always looking out for ... I visited the home on Sun evening and I really love that place. The 5 girls that I met are so lovely and the home is so well-maintained and well-furnished.

I'm very thankful that they're willing to pay me for the service but for various reasons, I'm fine with only an allowance although I dun want to deny that I struggle in my heart between money and integrity ... which I finally conclude that life is not just about money and survival.

Anyway I really look forward to work with the girls in the home. Even though it's only 1 for a start, the thought of helping them with my most minimum thrill me.

While walking along the dark alley with Xiaoying, we talked shared about a lot of things such as career change and family support, it's so heart-warming to meet someone who pursuit life with the purpose and interest as the main focus. What outsiders say or comment is just secondary.

Prehaps it may take me another decade to meet another person that touches my heart in a similar manner, I will still uphold that principle in my life.

He knows!

2008-05-25T18:38:00.002+08:00

Temptation is sweet ... (in the past, I will put a '.' here but now) ... but SINFUL.

Weeks ago, I shared to fay that sometimes we know that certain things is not worth pursuing and when we are trying very very hard to avoid it, it keeps coming up-right into our face that we find no ways to escape or avoid.

Only recently then I realise that running away or avoidance cant solve the problem. The ONLY solution is to cut all ties and have a cleansed heart which is aligned to God.

The love for power and money and lust --- these are the 3 greatest sins that take control of a person's mind, harden the heart and blur the vision. God definitely does not create mankind for this purpose.

I'm so glad that I have put down the 'temptation' that have bothered me weeks ago (and mths ago) and only today then I realise the time wasted and damage caused. But if not because of these, I wouldnt have experienced that peace and joy after a prolong period of struggle.

Temptation is never from God and He will help us to undergo each trial in our life. This just reminds me of what happened last yr when I was in XB and the answers can be found in James 1:12 - Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

And now I finally understood why God says NO when I wanted to go YN oct last yr.

Exam fever is over. WooHoo!!!

2008-05-21T21:23:00.002+08:00

I have finally completed my last paper yesterday. Although it's quite tough (cos those questions I spotted didnt come out), I still feel very happy cos it's finally over!!!

I have a very long to-do list and am feeling very excited to clear this long list ... so excited that sometimes i dun know which 1 to do 1st ... hahaha

Tml is the last day for term 2. The children are so happy, although they have to come back for supp class next week and they know that their holidays homework file is not going to be thin.

Very soon, I will mark my 3 mths in PL. Working here is really an experience ... learning to show love and concern to the irritating people and constantly reminding myself not to be overly-nice to the people I like. Hmmm ... isnt this 1 of the hardest-to-master teaching in the most precious self-help book from God?

But I still think I'm the lucky 1 cos most teachers I have worked with are very nice. There is this English male teacher who is known for being fierce. His base class consists of the more severe students of the P5 cohort and I believe they put him there for a reason. After supporting him for 1+ mth, I realise that he is very humorous in class and sometimes I have to either control my laughter or turn my head away so that the students didnt see me.

Yesterday, the students were learning connectors - 'and', 'but' & 'or'. A student was selected to form a sentence using 'but' and this was what the student said," The crown wants to be a teacher but he does not know how to teach".

From the above sentence, I suddenly realise and conclude that, to a certain extend, humour can be learnt.

Exam fever - Part 2

2008-05-16T00:06:00.004+08:00

Thank you snoopy chan for the encouragement (^-^) ... i feel so blessed to receive prayer from various people during this exam period. Thank you to you all people. 2nd paper is over. The next and last will be on next Tues and then I can celebrate lor ... WooHoo !!!

I attended cell on tues despite having a very very bad sore throat and running nose ... it so incredible that i can still lead P&W. My cell members prayed for my conditions and guess what. I felt exceptionally fresh and recharged when i woke up on wed morning with absolutely no sign of sickness. The feeling is even better than sleeping for 12 hours ... this once again prove the power and wonder of prayers. WooHoo !!!

comparing with previous semester, this time round i can feel the peace in me even though i know deep in my heart that i didnt study very hard ... but i also realise funny things happen ... such as my 1st paper, while i was sitting in total peace waiting for the invigilator to announce that we can start writing, i suddenly heard a prompting abt my correction tape. so i checked and discovered that there was less than 5 cm left and i didnt bring the refill ... very funny lor ...

n then today ... i checked multiple times for the correction tape before i left my house n just 10 mins before the exam start, i realise i didnt bring my calculator woh ... very funny right ... how can i do my statistics paper without a calculator??? so i went to the book store to buy 1. so now i have 2 calculators of the same model lor ... hahaha

i hope there wouldnt be anymore funny things happen on my last paper ...

Exam fever

2008-05-08T20:35:00.003+08:00

As my students have gotten their SA1 results, it's my turn to have exam. Whenever i thought of the amount of materials to study and the time available, my anxiety level increase and tension built up.

I was very guilty on Tues for turning in very very early and slept for nearly 12 hours. Those hours could have been put into better use or at least I shouldnt have skipped cell. Worst of all, I have dreamt alot alot ... so much that I couldnt tell whether that incident was a dream or reality.

Due to my lessons on Tues evening, I cant attend cell for the past 6 weeks. My extremely-nice cell members have never stop praying for me and whenever we meet in service, they will always express concern and care over me. This brunch of uncles and aunties are really nice people ... so nice that I rather miss cell than to change cell.

My upcoming course for austim will be on tues evening too ... tues seems to be a popular day for evening lessons ... this course will last for 4 months and me knowing myself well enough, I cant afford to be 'cell-less' for 4 mths. While wrestling with the thought of changing cell or being 'cell-less', I casually brought this up to my cell members and my cell leader intends to change it to wed ... WooHoo!!!

I just hope that the next 2 weeks will pass smoothly and quickly so that I can be free from the exam fever. Work starts to come in and there's lots of planning required. I can also sense that my responsibility is increasing. My small-group coaching will commence next week and this's something I need to pray about. I want to be filled with the wisdom from God so that I can help this top students to ace in PSLE.

1st-time

2008-04-18T17:19:00.003+08:00

i have my 2 1st-time in school yesterday ...

1st occasion
venue: on stage
audience: 150 students
aim: to brief students on the flyer outing

self-review: talk too fast. finish what's supposed to last for 20 mins within 10 mins. fail!!! although my vice-principal say a few words of encouragement, i know it deep in my heart ... haiz

2nd occasion
venue: pri 6 em3 class
audience: 9 students + 1 teacher supporting me (but i feel like being supervised)
aim: to go thru answers for maths worksheet done 2 weeks back

self-review: not too bad :-) ... the teacher comment that i have done very well cos the students can engage to me when i'm teaching ... WooHoo!!!

it will soon be 2 mth since i work in this school ... of the many stories heard and personal encounters on unpleasant incidence and people, i feel so blessed to be working with some very nice and experience p5/6 teachers. i hope these few good people can influence the others to be as nice, else even nicer people.

Procastination ...

2008-04-12T18:25:00.002+08:00

I'm beginning to procastinate again which is really devastating for me cos i will become very inefficient. The upcoming term2 outing + preparing students for exam + have sch assignments due every week + 3 papers to sit next mth ... i really really cant afford to be in this state ... ...

I was like this last semester n couldnt study for my maths paper. As a result, I went to Jialing's hse to study and she was watching over me but I cannot be like this every time mah ... still thought things will be better this semester since I didnt take Psychology modules. Haiz ... ... ... ... ... ...

Only decided last nite that I will attend YN prayer meeting but I changed my mind just now even though i have left my hse ...

天堂才是我的家

2008-04-07T16:57:00.005+08:00

While i'm still having mixed feelings abt the term 2 outing, my VP approach me to be involve in the planning. So i went to recee the venue last fri and so heng that the ppl there allow us to take a ride ... i was so excited n i believe the children will love it ... n if the children love it, all sacrifice and effort is worth it ... below are some photos took during my recee trip ... heehee

The art of giving

2008-03-29T20:12:00.002+08:00

I received my 1st paid from Pathlight yesterday ... so happy to be in this school for nearly a month. Although life is quite hectic, i can sense the joy and peace in me and i perceive this as the green light from God that this's where i should be, for the time being ...

i always feel very happy when my P6 EM3 class takes pride in the little effort they put in ... communicating to each and every one of them can be a challenge that I have to overcome ... it's really comforting to see that a handful of students are beginning to response to me and my ultimate goal is to help them to learn better so that they can score well in their PSLE ...

While i have discovered the joy to help those in need, i also realise that sometimes people dun response in the way i expected. I'm not saying that they must come n thank me everytime i help them cos this is never my objective but i dun understand why they can acknowledge everyone but me? Why am i always being missed out?

i self-reflected and questions such as "i have not done enough?", "i have done something wrong?" and "the person has taken me for granted?" started to flow in ... i do not know the answer so i fall back to the Bible for similar examples ... ...

out of the 10 lepers cleansed, only 1 (a Samaritan) returned the glory to God (Luke 17:11-19) ... this however did not stop Jesus or his disciples from healing the sick and unclean.

i guess we're called to share the love and blessing from God with others ... it doesnt matter how others response, what's more impt is to cont to the good work since this is the truth and righteousness which God has displayed and demostrated.

A big hug to you

2008-03-23T22:29:00.006+08:00

Nothing can be happier than to receive the green light to bring HuiChang to Bethel and the 1st person to share this joy with me has volunteered to go HC's house together. I really want to thank my dear mentor for being with me today as there're so many things that she can do much much better than me ... here's a DIY hug specially dedicated to you:

I hope I dun sound too mushy ... anyway I know my mentor knows what I mean 1 lor ... heehee ... hahaha ...

that leads to the path of HOPE

2008-03-12T21:37:00.003+08:00

Today I have done something which i have always wanted to do since a mth ago ... I finally visited the elderly couple at their place and met their mentally-ill daughter. I didnt know that circuit road is just 1 bridge distance away from church and it's a small, cosy estate.

Auntie was very excited to see me and she toured me around her house. Then we went to the Family Service Centre (FSC) to file a record for social aid. After that, they bought me nice chicken rice ... I realise that uncle loves chicken rice (^ - ^).

Thru today's visit, auntie told me more things abt themselves and amongst all, many are funny things which makes me laugh and laugh. It's rather sad to see that the other children do not want to bear responsibility for the mentally-ill sister and 1 consolation this old couple has is to be so loving after so many years. During lunch, they order a glass of sugar cane juice and insist that the other person to drink 1st cos they are afraid there's not enough of the other person. I dun think my parents will be so loving if my dad is still alive ...

I really enjoy the time spend with them although they always thank me for helping them and ensure I go home with a full stomach. Today auntie said a line which set me thinking ... When we left the FSC, she told the social worker that I'm very nice and helpful and "我自己的女儿都没有对我这么好". This's definitely a compliment and I want to return the credit to God. Yet I feel so guilty for being selective in showing love and concern, esp to my mum.

Btw do you all know where is 'four road road'? My mum has been staying over at my bro's place cos they're in Germany now. She wanted to tell my bro's maid about 四马路, which is 'four road road' according to her ... no wonder the poor maid doesnt know where it is ... hahaha ... very funny lor.

Once, my mum was taking her medicine and told the maid that the pills are for 'sweet urine', which she actually means diabetes ... ** eyes rolling ** !!! My mum sometimes uses very weird terms and the poor maid will have to crack her head to guess what my mum is trying to tell her ...

This is the consequences of incompetence in English but it's ok lor cos not everyone is so privilege to study for her generation. True that she doesnt have much education but sense of humour makes a person more lovely, isnt it?

Sometimes we focus so much on the things we dun have, not knowing that those things can mould us to be a better person. If we're willing to look out for that ray of light in our lives, we can definitely find the direction that leads to the path of HOPE. Live on!

A ray of light

2008-03-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

I have started work at the school. Class support isnt easy though there are only 10 students. I prayed for a good class and God is really good as I'm being assigned to the best Pri 6 class ... but Pri 6 leh ... so there will be supplementary classes on every Mon and Thurs ... and I would also expect extra lessons in Jun holidays. I dun mind those extra hours as long as it doesnt affect my studies and the highly-anticipated church camp + visit to orphanage.

Everyone envy my working hours cos it's morning session so I will reach home by 4:30 ... frankly, there's no need to 羡慕 cos it's really very tiring ... Thank God for His grace as I survive thru last week ... hahaha

I can anticipate my heavy workload in the coming term ... which is good in a way that I wouldnt have time for any mood swing ... a few things happen recently but i need to control myself ... cannot allow myself to go into mood disorder ... Resolution 1: Rejoice in all circumstances ... and be a joyful lamb ... WooHoo !!!

The LORD is my light and salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strognhold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1