The unsettled mind

i finally has acknowledged my unsettled mind. this's after so many mths of denial, pretence & ignorance that i finally have to come face-to-face with it. what makes this more complicated is our differences and my lack of courage to seek the answer. what if it's a No? haiz ...

toying with my thoughts in wilderness doesnt seems wise ... yet, i dun dare to challenge my faith. and now that i'm writing this entry, i'm entertaining my unsettled mind again. haiz ... "our spirit is high but our flesh is weak" ... now i understand what this means!

think i need to return to similar condition as dec 08 where my mind is so focused on 1 objective and no room for choice. this's perhaps is the only thing i can celebrate in the midst of so many hair-pulling events. this's how i was blessed. my God has a good sense of humor!